Monthly reflection3 April 2020

Do you get that feeling when you KNOW that you are right, and others just won’t see it?

I get it, when I’m certain that I’m right, when I know it’s my way or the highway, when there’s no shred of doubt, when I know what must be done, yet somehow others don’t see it that way, they don’t agree, they have their own ideas of what should or shouldn’t be done. They just refuse to see that I have the answer. 

I’ve learned that, that feeling of being right, is no measure of whether I’m actually right. 

I’ve learned that whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong has no bearing on who I am as a person. I can be right and I can be wrong, and it doesn’t diminish who I am. Although it can have an effect on my ego. 

I’ve learned that there is no shame in backing down and listening to a different perspective or even an opposite point of view. In fact, quite the reverse. When I do that, I gain more strength not less, not strength in my opinion but in the respect I gain from others, especially if their views and opinions then inform my actions. 

I’ve learned that in many areas of my life it doesn’t matter whether I’m right or not. It’s just an opinion, nothing lost or gained, no action needed. Whether I think I’m right or not serves no purpose. If I stick to my idea of being right, the only thing I might lose is a friendship or the respect of a valued colleague. I’ve learned that the relationship is more important to me than being right. 

I’ve learned that I can be right and that someone with an opposite opinion to me can also be right

I’ve learned that I can be right and that someone with an opposite opinion to me can also be right and when I see what’s right in both arguments, something new can emerge. An action or a decision that encompasses both points of view. 

I’ve learned that my opinion is just one facet of a wider vista, that I cannot see the whole panorama and that when I take account of another’s perspective, I get to see a bigger picture. 

I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as a right or wrong view, there’s just a series of different views. 

I’ve learned that when I KNOW I’m right, I’m missing a crucial piece of the jigsaw puzzle. 

I’ve learned that when I get a strong feeling of being right, needing to be the winner, needing to be the one with the correct answer, needing to come out on top, that’s when I know that my ego has got involved and I’m in danger of falling flat on my face. 

When I get this feeling I’ve learned to stop, take a step back, ask questions, listen to other people’s viewpoints, let go of the need to be right and see what else transpires. 

What if feelings are an indication of your thinking?

I’ve learned that when I do that, a whole better solution always presents itself, and it turns out that I wasn’t right after all. 

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