What if you stop using the power of thought against yourself?
I was the world’s best at using thought against myself, not realising that was what I was doing. My thinking was so habitual and ingrained that I didn’t notice it. It was like the most awful and garish wallpaper, at some point I stopped noticing the wild pattern of my thinking. It was just normal.
I didn’t notice how much I berated myself. How much I questioned, doubted, judged and criticised myself for the smallest and mostly imaginary misdemeanors. I sabotaged myself,not knowing that was what I was doing. I limited myself to tiny boundaries. I formed a tiny jail cell in my mind, and somehow believed it to be a vast open space.
I thought everyone was better than me. I believed I was no good. I waited for someone, somewhere, to catch me out, to notice that I was not as good as they thought and to expose me for the fraud that I was. The words in this children’s rhyme just popped into my mind.
“Nobody likes me. Everyone hates me. I think I’ll go eat worms.”
Isn’t this how it happens? This thinking was the worm that fed itself on my mental health. Until I started to see what was happening. When I realised that the worm was a fabrication. When I realised that the thought patterns were the imposter. When I realised that I could stop feeding this worm that only existed in my mind.
Sydney Banks said in his book The Missing Link:
“Let your negative thoughts go. They are nothing more than passing thoughts.”
“You are then on your way to finding the peace of mind you seek, having healthier feelings for yourself and for others.”
I realised that peace of mindis who I am, my purest essence and it is not broken, not damaged and not defective in any way. Those thoughts about not being good enough, and the countless other thoughts that fed the worm, just weren’t true. They were something that I’d made up somewhere along the line and believed. And I could stop believing them right now.
I also realised that all thoughts pass, that’s the nature of thought. If I don’t believe them and don’t pay attention to them, they will pass by of their own accord, like storm clouds across the sky.
Sydney Banks also said:
“Our feelings are the barometer of our thoughts.”
I realised that my feelings are like the needle on a weather barometer. Sometimes the needle moves to stormy weather, sometimes it’s calm and sunny. Feelings are the barometer for my thinking. When I notice a ‘bad’ ‘negative’ or ‘low quality’ feeling, I know it’s an indicator that it’s just a stormy, rainy or cloudy thought pattern in play. And then it’s not such a big deal.
It didn’t take much to stop using the power of thought against myself. It took just a little understanding, and some noticing, and that was enough to stop the worm from turning against myself.
If you’d like some more food for thought on this subject, you can watch the recording of our Livestream ‘What if you stop using the power of thought against yourself?’ here on our Facebook page. We’d love to hear your thoughts.